Saturday, July 20, 2013

reimagined dream

We moved to Colorado with a plan. It involved buying a home. But not any home; our dream home. We had visited Denver just a few months before and thought we had nothing but time and opportunity. But as life often does, it got in the way. Home prices and interest rates began to rise. The neighborhood we were certain we'd fit right into, turned out not to be all that we had hoped. And though one day we walked through a floor plan that seemed to be everything we could ever want-we were hit with the realization that it wasn't in the cards.

Both Chris and I were a little shell-shocked and a lot disappointed. We had left a pretty good life on the other side of the country with certain expectations and those expectations weren't being met. I started to wonder if I shouldn't have taken that job at The New School, if we shouldn't have given the nursery school lottery a try, if we shouldn't have moved a little farther out in Queens or taken a look at Jersey.

But it was too late. We had said our goodbyes and committed ourselves to giving the turtle a taste of the childhoods we adored; childhoods full of grandparents, and cousins,  and T-ball, and dance recitals, and neighborhood barbecues. So, we had to take a deep breath-and a few months to regroup; to think through what we really wanted. And then we discovered Northeast Denver.

Truthfully it's where we had been all along. Where my folks live. Where new rooftops were going up every week. Where we were buying local produce at the neighborhood grocery store. It just wasn't where we thought we'd end up. It wasn't the original plan. But the community started to unveil itself. And we slowly began to fall in love.

So here we are six months in and it looks like this is where we'll make our home. It's where the turtle will learn to ride a bike, go to school, drive a car. It's where he'll likely say, "I love you" (and really thinks he means it) for the first  time. Where he'll experience his first heartache. Fail his first test. Break his first curfew. Score his first goal. Run his first mile. Earn his first A. And I am so anxious, and joyous and terrified of the all the things to come.

Today we went back to that original "dream home" -and realized it was no longer the dream. The dream has been re-imagined.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

sweet turtle loves (take two)

These are the things my sweet turtle loves:
peanut butter
the wizard of oz
dance parties
the library
scooby doo
chipmunk races
comic books

Friday, April 5, 2013

today, I'm okay

Today, I'm okay. Today, I'm starting to feel like this might be home. Today, I'm feeling like we might make friends, build a community,  build a life. I haven't felt that way every day. But today, I'm okay.

My little family has been happily squatting with my folks since February. They have been so gracious and accommodating - tolerating, and at times even enjoying, the emotional tornado that is a three-year old: moving in and out of giggles, belly laughs and tears in less time than it takes thunder to call in a storm. We have tried our best to be respectful of their space, humbly paying them back for their generosity with little more than home-cooked meals. The soft landing has allowed us to settle in, save money, and learn the lay of the land. But we're ready to create our own space and our own routines and look forward to starting that re-build in early May.

Unfortunately, we won't be moving into a home at that time. House-hunting has been more challenging than we expected. We know what we want: sustainability, walkability, and retreat. We want communal space, large enough to house a multi-purpose, re-purposed hopefully home-built farm table with mis-matched chairs. Outdoor living space with room for herbs, fruit trees, and root vegetables. Space to work, eat, read, entertain and play music. Houses are every where, but no where is home. We are waiting to hear about a piece of land that we've hand-picked in North Denver - but the wait-time has gone from two weeks, to a month, to we don't know when. So we'll move into an apartment for a while - waiting to buy and  build. Even so, an apartment is such a luxury. A patio and separate bedrooms are more than we could have hoped for in NYC, so I imagine we'll thrive in our new space.

Denver has invited us in. We've seen amazing theatre; drank good cups of coffee; visited bookstores; found a community of athletes; and ran into an old friend from our college acting days, and knew instantly that there was something electric in this town. We just need to plug in.

So that's what we're doing - recharging. The move, the separation, the distance from familiar faces and places wiped us out for a few weeks - but we're almost there. I've gone from one to two to three bars of power and I'm almost ready to go.
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