Friday, July 17, 2009

searching for my creative self

When I was in school my acting teacher told me to look in the mirror, to study my reflection, and if I saw anything other than an artist, to embrace it. I think he fully expected me to see an actor and to pursue my vocation with drive and passion.

But, I didn't. What I saw was a fractured image full of possibilities; a wife, a mother, a teacher. But, I didn't know that a reflection is not an actual representation of the truth. That it's a trick of shape and light. That letters rearrange; symmetry distorts. I wish I had known that what I saw was only a glimpse of what I could be not a limitation of what I was.

I say this, because I spend a lot energy trying to re-capture my creative self. I look for her everywhere; in jobs, in classes, in workshops. I keep looking for my own little niche in the world. Knowing that there must be a corner where my creative self not only resides but thrives.

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