Thursday, February 4, 2010

love at first sight

I realized I haven't written about the moment I fell in love.

Chris and I started talking babies late last spring. I visited my doctor for some preconception counseling and was told to be patient. Once we decided to take the leap - she wanted me to know that it may take months before we conceived. Specifically she said something along the lines of "if you don't have any luck within the year, we'll talk options." But we were pretty laid back about the whole thing. We figured if it was meant to happen, it would happen. So I began boosting up my folic acid and DHA intake, took a couple of months to "get healthy" and then jumped feet first into the murky waters of trying to have a baby.

So, when I started feeling unwell as we left the movie theatre on the upper west side, the last thing that crossed my mind was, "I'm pregnant." In fact it was Chris who suggested it hours later. But it seemed impossible. We had literally just stated trying, there was no way I had already conceived.

Fast forward a few weeks later. We're sitting in the doctors office watching what we've been told is a baby on the screen. He is  nothing more than a spot, looking a little like those gray potato bugs I used to hold in my palm as a kid. The kind that roll up into a ball and hide. But within that little spot, was a flicker. "That's your peanut's heartbeat." the doctor said. I squeezed Chris' hand and began to cry. Yes, just like in some cheesy movie. But it's true, it was love at first sight.

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