Monday, April 5, 2010

baby blues

The "baby blues" made an appearance today. It was my first day home alone with my little man. Chris is still working and grandma and grandpa went home Saturday. Truthfully, I'm not sure when the actual day began, because it was just a continuation of a very long night made up of one feeding after another. I keep hearing that we are to "feed on demand" the first few weeks, but the demand is high and the supply is limited. So I was exhausted long before morning.

It's hard not to feel a little inadequate when you make a decision to shower and a good two and half hours have passed before you're  in the water.

And yes, I cried. I cried because I'm tired and hormonal.  I cried because my folks have already come and gone and I'm not sure when I'm going to see them again. I cried because my sister in law and her husband are going through a tough time and it's difficult to emotionally balance our personal joy with their frustration and sorrow.

So it was a rough afternoon.

I need some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.


  1. And you probably wonder how it is possible to feel so sad when you have this beautiful healthy little boy. Yet you cry, and that is perfectly okay.

  2. I agree. It is perfectly okay. Our tough time has sunshine too. I promise. Enjoy every moment. Because one day you wake up and they aren't babies anymore. Then you wish for the day the needed you so much.

    We love you.