It was about 2:00 this afternoon, I had planned to get to the laundromat by ten, the baby was fussing, and the laundry bag was still sitting untouched by the front door. Chris was hanging hooks in the bathroom and I had spent the entire day - yes, truly the entire day nursing. I stood in the kitchen and cried. It was a mommy meltdown - the second one I've had in my little one's first five weeks.
I think it's the breastfeeding. I wasn't expecting the 24 hour cycle. Sure, I knew I would be sleep-deprived, but I had underestimated how little one accomplishes when you have a newborn attached to your breast. And, unfortunately it's the one thing for which no one can help. Someone else can make meals, dust, vacuum, feed the cat - but not this. And until I have stored enough to bottle-feed, it's just me and my little man. Fortunately he's an angel - and I swear I already see love in his eyes. So I just keep saying, "Be patient, mommy's learning."