Wednesday, February 23, 2011

family

For the first time I traveled alone with the turtle. We spent the last week or so in Colorado visiting aunts, uncles and grandparents. It was a great trip but reinforced how much I miss family. Of course I always have. Goodbyes have never been easy. But now, with my little guy, goodbyes are heartbreaking.

Years ago my folks, grandparents and little brother dropped me off at college in Washington state. Following move-in and parent orientation, I was standing outside my residence hall in carpenter shorts and birkenstocks watching my folks' car drive away. I began to shake; literally shake. I will remember that feeling for the rest of my life; the physical manifestation of loneliness and fear. Fortunately, I've never felt it since. Chris offers me so much and though I desperately miss my folks, brother and in-laws - I've always been content with "pairdom". He's been enough. But the turtle is a game-changer. And though it's no longer loneliness and fear that creeps into my soul, I still want for the comfort and continuity of family.

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