The Actor's Wife

awesome share

2012-02-07T06:37:00.001-05:00

Chris from Skinned Knees in Short Pants was the guest blogger at NYC Dads this week. His article below is a must-read.

It's Time For Dads to Fight the War on Families

dreading

2012-02-06T06:12:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking about dreading my hair for months. I know. Anyone who knows me will say, "Really? Dreadlocks?" But it's been a strange call. To be honest, I have been influenced by some of the "crunchy mamas" in the blogosphere. Women who's peaceful, simple living I find inspiring. But the call resides deeper inside me as well.

Since early January I've been part of Lisa Work's Visionary Mom Teams. Each of the 9 remarkable women on my team are working on a project - things ranging from building their businesses to improving their health. My project is striving toward becoming a "full-time family." Now that in itself is a long-term project, one I don't imagine will truly come to fruition for some time, but my specific short term goals are to finish the book I've been chipping away at for a year, to co-facilitate a type assessment and movement retreat, and (perhaps) get my yoga teacher certification. The vision that's driving each of these goals is my interest in challenging paradigms; challenging the definitions of words and phrases like, "family", "working mom", "career" and "education." I'm daring to go my own way.

And, I think, that's where the desire to dread my hair comes into play - it's the universe's dare to go my own way. To be OPEN (after all that's my word for 2012) to something unique.

And I've even found examples of really soft, lovely, feminine dreads.

Will I do it? I don't know.

But it's definitely on my mind.

my word for 2012: open

2012-01-23T06:15:00.000-05:00

photo by sarniebill1

As I was preparing for the start of 2012 I thought a lot about resolutions and to-do lists. Chris and I are the king and queen of goal-setting, so the beginning of a new year is always exciting. But as I thought more about it, I wasn't interested in setting specific benchmarks for the upcoming year. For the first time in likely a decade, I'm not really sure what the next 12 months have in store. There's a lot up our sleeves: Chris' film Cowboys vs. Indians is in pre-production, I'm authoring a new blog, Simply Defined, I joined an awesome working group of creative, action-oriented women as part of Lisa Work's Visionary Mom Team. The upcoming summer is jam-packed with travel, and family and weddings galore. And the turtle is leading us into new adventures every day. But where might this all lead? A move? A new job? A new space? A new home? Who knows?

So instead of resolutions, I decided to choose a word for 2012 - Open. In 2012 I'll try hard not to over-plan, over-think, or over-anticipate what's next. But, to some extent, let the world unfold, listen to her cues, and respond to her calls. And we'll see where she takes us.

leaps and bounds

2012-01-15T17:09:00.003-05:00

crayons, books and crafts

One of the turtle's favorite words right now is , "Super!" He runs into the room, throws his arms up in the air, screams "Ta Da. Super!" Yup, my little guy thinks he's a superhero. And he's right. I mean, the way he's growing and changing and learning. He's leaps and bounds from where he was a week ago; not to mention where he was this time last year.

For example:

barn animals

He snaps in time.
He recognizes the words, "apple" "dinosaur" "hi" and "baby."
He knows in which drawers he can find his pants, his shirts and his pajamas.
He knows our routines.
He knows that when we turn on the iPad, there's a good chance we're going to talk to "Pops."

He has favorite songs. Favorite toys. Favorite T-shirts. And, as of this weekend, he is 100% weaned from his bottle. My baby is a little boy.

felt the need to repost...

2012-01-10T06:30:00.003-05:00

I felt the need to re-post this. Something I wrote in October 2009, when my little turtle was just a wee thing growing inside me. Oh yes, my friends, how I love being a mom. How I truly love being a mom.

original post date: Sunday, October 4, 2009

the artist

When I was maybe sixteen I watched a film about Camille Claudel and became obsessed with sculpting. I began to imagine myself in the unfinished basement of our home, using my fingers, hands and elbows to slowly mold the gray putty I had bought at the downtown art store into something profound. Even then I was desperate to live a life with meaning and purpose. I wanted to create something beautiful.

But clay wasn't the right material. And, I struggled for years trying to find my artistic medium. But now as my body changes, making room for the creation inside me; I wait and watch in awe. I have finally become the artist I always wanted to be.

holiday bliss

2011-12-28T06:51:00.002-05:00

Once again, we had a quiet little Christmas. We look forward to future holidays filled with grandparents, cousins and friends, but for now we appreciate our simple routines and moving at our own pace. Happy holidays to each of you. And may you find peace and joy in the new year.

santa has arrived

streaming yule log

for my paper-free kitchen

post-presents

sacred saturdays

2011-12-21T06:45:00.002-05:00

Photo by the turtle

sacred: regarded with reverence

Last Saturday, the turtle's swim teacher was filling the three families in her class on options for the next term. My turtle, the youngest of the group, will stay in Mommy and Me 2 for at least another 18 months. Parents of PeeWee swimmers (the next level) aren't allowed in the pool, which is why most of the little ones in that class are three if not closer to four years old.

The two other boys in Mommy and Me 2 are approaching that four mark and should in fact move up a level. But one of the boy's daddy's (a bear of a man with the sweetest disposition) was hesitant. "I don't know how R will like not having me with him." He said, with the slightest crack in his baritone throat.

I was telling Chris about this, saying something along the lines of. "God these parents. How are their kids every going to gain any independence if everyone constantly hovers?" I was feeling pretty cool as I made my free-ranging declaration with confidence.

"You know, " Chris answered, "They're like you. Swim class is probably their special time together. R's dad might not be ready to give that up."

I felt horrible. Of course swim class is their special time. Like me, R's daddy works all week. He sees his children for a few hours before bed-time, but misses out on music lessons, playdates, trips to the museum, and story-time at the library.

I forget that I'm not the only one for whom Saturdays are sacred.

sweet turtle loves

2011-12-16T06:51:00.003-05:00

So anyone who knows and/or reads The Actors Wife, understands how much I love my free-write lists; one worded answers to a simple or complex question. My favorite question being: "what do you love?" And, since I've already done such a free-write for myself, I thought you might like to see my sweet turtle loves list. So these are the things my sweet turtle loves (in no particular order):

milk
books

me and the turtle at our favorite playground

dancing
dinosaurs
cookie monster
crayons
hugs
brushing his teeth
"helping" with the laundry
chinese take-out (specifically chicken and broccoli)
apples
prunes
carrot juice
word games
playgrounds
kung fu panda
winnie the pooh (in french)
coloring
going for walks and
his daddy's brown winter hat

the big compromise

2011-12-12T06:37:00.000-05:00

I think I made the first "big compromise" as a working mom. You know that big mom vs. career decision? Yup I made it. Without going into the nitty gritty details, there was a to-die-for opportunity on the table. My dream job, working for my dream boss, doing something I truly believe in. But alas it wasn't the right thing at the right time. And in true corporate terms the ROI just wasn't going to cut it.

I've got a good thing going right now. I like my job. I work with an amazing team. I'm given a great deal of flexibility and autonomy. It's a known entity. I've also arranged a killer 8:00 to 4:00 schedule which has been down-right heavenly. And though I do a lot of work from home, my stress level is pretty low.
All that said, I'm a mom first. It's obvious. I'm a mom first.

christmas came early

2011-12-10T08:27:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been a bit remiss, but the turtle, Chris and I have been busy hosting Rocky Mountain visitors. My folks spent the last leg of a 2 week vacation in New York City. To be fair, the five day visit was a little different than we had planned. On the original agenda was a trip to see the lights at the Central Park Zoo and the Dinosaur exhibit at the Museum of Natural History, but I'm afraid my dad (aka Pops) had a run in with some "natural history" while aboard a cruise liner the week before, when he was bit by what we're quite certain was a brown recluse spider. Most of his and my mum's cruise was unfortunately spent in the ship's medical unit where pops was undergoing hand surgeries and intravenous treatments of antibiotics and the like. The good news is he was well enough by the end of the trip to still spend time with us in the city, but long from fully recovered. So, we changed our itinerary to include a a trip to visit Santa and a drive to the West Point Academy, but other than that we stayed pretty close to home.

No problem. Every once in a while life gets in the way and when it does you have two choices either a) be angry or b) roll with the punches and we opted for choice "b." Besides, when it came right down to it I'm pretty sure pops and grandmum really just needed some good ol' fashioned turtle time. Of which they received plenty.

christmas cookies

sneaky turtle

grandmum and the turtle coloring.

long weekend loveliness

2011-11-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

Other than the wicked ammonia burn (and a Sunday afternoon spent treating diapers), I really had a lovely long weekend with Chris and the turtle. We decided not to go to the Macy's Parade, it just seemed like a lot to take on with an almost two-year old, especially when we learned that we shouldn't bring our stroller. So, instead we stayed home, Chris cooked an amazing Thanksgiving dinner for three, we ate, and then delivered home-made sweet potato and roasted marshmallow ice cream to the folks working the holiday shift at our favorite neighborhood hangout.

Friday we avoided the shopping madness (and good thing, because if there's any truth to Saturday's news stories, the stores were practically war-zones), so rather we took a walk, decorated the Christmas tree and watched a very beat up version of Happy Feet (maybe the last time we check out dvds from the library).

Saturday I knit, baked cookies and the three of us went to the park.

Though a quiet holiday with just a small sampling of the ones I love, it couldn't have been a more perfect weekend to reflect on the people and things which are most important to me.

diaper duty

2011-11-27T12:57:00.000-05:00

diapers on the stove-top

I'm in between sets, of stripping (boiling) diapers. After three rough days of battling the turtle's ammonia burn, it was well past time. So this morning, the full batch went through two wash cycles using our good old stand-byes (thank you Rockin' Green Soap products.) And now I'm boiling the diapers, two at a time, on the stove top. I'm hoping this process will do the trick, because last night after crying along side my little guy a good part of day (there's truly nothing worse than seeing your child in pain) I was about ready to put an end to this whole cloth-diapering adventure. Screw the environment; I just want my turtle to be okay.

Thankfully, I woke up with renewed purpose, and a full day with nothing planned. I also think my mood improved considerably given that the turtle's ammonia burn, though still fairly angry looking, seems to have dried out a bit. I got some great advice from my friends and family about how to speed the healing process. And cool water rinses, chamomile baths and lanolin seems to be the magic combination.

So anyway, while Chris is at rehearsals and the turtle naps, and reads, and colors, I'm cookin' in the kitchen (sort of).

black eyes and $2 waffle irons

2011-11-26T08:45:00.002-05:00

At the end of the day yesterday, Chris read snippets of news from around the country: riots, arrests and pepper spray. And, he wasn't reading about Occupy Wall Street. The headlines were coming straight from the local Target, Walmart and Best Buy.

It was Black Friday. People camped out for days, bypassing Thanksgiving altogether to buy a $200 television or even more ludicrous a $2.00 waffle iron. I mean our waffle iron is on the fritz but I'm not risking my personal safety (after all, the sale madness broke into a full scale riot) to save a few bucks.

I just find it interesting that the same country that bashed our president Thursday for not mentioning God in his Thanksgiving address, turned into a national mob that was rude, myopic, and in some cases violent. I'm sorry kids, but the hero of my Sunday School lessons was the one who turned over the merchants' tables in the temple not the one who pushed his way into the front of the line for a deal on goat meat and cornmeal.

swimming update

2011-11-21T06:34:00.000-05:00

We're three weeks into the next phase of the turtle's swimming lessons (mommy and me two) and I thought it was time for an update. Things are remarkably better than when we began this adventure a few months ago. Though the turtle still isn't crazy about having his face in the water, he likes to glide and loves to push off the wall like the "big boys." He's also excited about going to swim class, he yells, "pool. pool. pool." as we enter the gym, and he loves to sit on the edge of the water and kick. He's just certain to have one hand on either his teacher or me - likely a confidence thing. But I'm so proud of how far he's come.

looking at my year of grace

2011-11-18T06:24:00.011-05:00

Photo by andrea-huber.at

This morning I read through my year of grace and it captures so much of what this year's been about: growth, learning, wonder, loss, peace, fulfillment. And I am reminded how blessed, truly blessed I am.

feeling inspired

2011-11-17T06:54:00.002-05:00

artwork by the turtle

Inspiration is everywhere and I feel myself bursting with a need to do, create and experience. What's inspiring me right now?

1) The Occupy Wall Street Movement. Though I don't agree with every tactic, I am truly inspired by people's drive and dedication to the cause. Specifically I am moved by those in uniform (the veterans, police officers, fire-fighters etc.) who have identified as part of the 99% and with the teachers and academics who are using the movement as a forum for honest intellectual discourse.

2) Yarn. Two weeks ago I picked up my crochet hook and since then have found such peace in crocheting each night. Though it's only "practice" at this early stage I hope that it grows into a craft for which I'll have some degree of mastery or expertise. I also find myself attracted to blogs with really lovely photographs of yarn, and needles and projects. Like SouleMama, a site of which I've fallen in love.

3) Dreads. Okay, this may sound strange, but I'm lovin' crunchy mama dreadlocks. And, if you don't agree, just take a look at the gorgeous mamas found at WalkSlowlyLiveWildly, *e* and Life Inspired. Yup, lovin' it. Just sayin'.

I think it's that time of year, where I want to settle in, read, drink hot chocolate and hang out with my boys. And so much of what I see around me is promise. Promise for new opportunities, new challenges, new skills, new insights. And, with each passing year I become so much more confident in who I am and what I have to offer - and to be at that place, is really wonderful.

In any case...if you can't tell, I'm feeling inspired.

sunday afternoon with my turtle

2011-11-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

Some days I love being a new york city mama. And often, those days fall on Sundays, when Chris, the turtle and I have nothing better to do than explore. This past Sunday was magic; the leaves had turned and there was just a hint of a winter chill in the air. And, my turtle was looking at the world as if he was seeing it for the first time.

Photo by Chris at Skinned Knees in Short Pants

lots of help

2011-11-14T06:38:00.000-05:00

The turtle is a lot of help. He sweeps, he folds laundry, he dusts. Okay, so he's not really a lot of help, but he thinks he is, which is pretty darn cute. This weekend, Chris and I folded the laundry, and I was in the process of walking clothes from the living room to the bedrooms. And before I knew it my little man was toddling through the apartment with a clean folded diaper. He handed it to me asking "mama?" Which I think meant, "do you want this?" I took it and said, "Thank you" which thrilled him! So, he toddled right back into the living room to get another diaper from the pile. This went on for twenty minutes. Which of course meant a five minute chore took four times as long. But really, who cares?

gotta get a goat

2011-11-10T06:01:00.002-05:00

For the record, I really want a goat. And if the thought of fresh cheese and yogurt aren't convincing enough, maybe this picture will be.

Turtle and the goat at the Central Park Zoo

words, words, words

2011-11-09T06:15:00.000-05:00

My little guy is talking up a storm. We had read somewhere that once he had his first fifty words down the flood gates would open and boy were they (whoever they are) right.

A couple of days ago the turtle was sitting in his high chair having a snack and he turned around pointed to the fruit basket and asked, "apple?" Crazy right?

We've also introduced the turtle to exercises from "Your Baby Can Read." We went back and forth on whether we'd give it a try. We don't want to become those parents but at the same time, the turtle has expressed a lot of interest in books and words, so we finally thought, "What the hell!" And so far, we've been really impressed.

weekday routine update

2011-11-03T06:44:00.005-04:00

I realized it's been a long time since I've brought you up to speed on our routine. Needless to say we follow "turtle time" in our home. As attachment parents, we feel strongly that our role is to respond to the turtle's needs as they come. That said, our little guy is remarkably predictable and most comfortable when sticking with a schedule. So under most circumstances the day (from my perspective) looks like this:

5:30am    I wake up. Do a little yoga (sometimes) and shower
6:30am        The turtle wakes.He often "reads" on the floor next to me while I get dressed.
7:00am        Breakfast with turtle (always oatmeal or eggs and toast. Sometimes a smoothie for me)
7:15am        We wake up dad, if he's not already up.
7:30am        I leave for work

7:30am - 4:00pm Turtle and Daddy time. They spend a couple of hours at the park every day. Once a week, they go to French class. They also spend time at our favorite neighborhood hangout drinking coffee and eating croissants (the turtle does the latter not the former)!

4:30pm         I arrive home
4:45pm         Turtle and Me "Stretch" which is what we call our at-home yoga practice. Daddy writes, winds down, or goes to the gym.
5:30pm         Turtle's words (We're doing Your Baby Can Read.Topic for a future post)
5:45pm         Dinner
6:30pm Turtle's bath time
7:00pm Stories and lullabies with mommy
7:30pm         Turtle's bed time

I still rock the turtle to sleep every night. I probably don't have to at this stage, but on most nights it's this really wonderful and quiet time carved out for just the two of us. I think, even if we have another, I will want to save an hour where just the turtle and I hang out, read and wind down.

So that's our usual routine.

am i ready to take "bein' crunchy" to the next level?

2011-10-31T06:59:00.002-04:00

This weekend, Chris, the turtle and I stumbled on an indoor composting workshop. It was being held at our favorite neighborhood coffee shop; and being led by the Astoria CSA. We have thought a lot about composting, but didn't think it was feasible given that we don't have outdoor space. But, we should have known that crunchy New Yorkers had a solution. We can, in fact, build an indoor composting bin. That's right - indoors!

Okay, I too was thinking, really? What a mess! But truth is, if you follow careful instructions, you can have an organized odor-free bin right in your kitchen. But what about the worms? Yes, just like an outdoor composting bin, you gotta have worms. But hell, I'm the mama of a little boy, I'm sure we'll house a whole list of creepy-crawlers in the next ten to fifteen years. So what are a couple of worms?

So, I think we're going to do it. I think we're going to start composting right here in the middle of Astoria, Queens. Pretty cool eh? I'll keep you posted.

some cool things happening at simply defined

2011-10-28T07:42:00.001-04:00

Do you really enjoy The Actor's Wife, and would love to see more? Spend some time on Simply Defined: professional guidance for those challenging educational norms, where I write about self-awareness, career exploration, life-long learning and unschooling. There's some really great resources like "classrooms on the web" and a simply defined community forum where you can become part of the dialogue.

Hope to see you there!

With much appreciation,
The Actor's Wife

my free range kid

2011-10-26T06:28:00.000-04:00

The turtle chasing the elusive Elmo.

I have a free range kid. Yes, I know he'll make mistakes. He will trip, tumble and fall. There will be blood and bruises and probably broken bones. And, I know I'll have lots of "oh sh*%" moments over the years. But I want the turtle to run three paces ahead, to swim without a life jacket, and climb trees without a safety rope.

halloween harvest festival

2011-10-24T06:21:00.000-04:00

This past weekend we went to the Halloween Harvest Festival at Socrates Sculpture Park in Queens. The day was magic.

the seasons of one year

2011-10-21T06:13:00.002-04:00

I would love to design my family's calendar around the seasons of one year. Every three to four months we would move from one of our favorite cities to another; and with each move our environment and our focus would change.

Fall - New York City - Work

Perhaps it's because I have spent my life in education, but the fall has always been, for me, a time of new beginnings. It's the perfect season to detox, renew, and rejuvenate.I am most creative this time of year and would love to spend it at "home" in New York.Our focus would be work. Chris and I would write, teach and network. We would connect with friends and colleagues. We would teach the turtle American History, Urban Planning, and Sociology. We would take weekend trips to D.C., Philadelphia and Boston where we would waste away the hours at libraries and museums.

Winter - Boulder - Celebrate

As the holidays approached, we would pack up our little family and head west. Over the next three months we would live just outside Boulder, Colorado, where we would be perfectly happy to spend weekends "snowed in" baking, playing board games, and watching movies. Our purpose would be to celebrate nature, the holidays, family, and each other. And, the turtle's classroom would be outdoors where he'd learn to ice-fish and snow-show. He'd study ecosystems, geology, and evolution.

Spring - Amsterdam - Learn
As the weather warmed, we would move on to Amsterdam and for the next few months we would read and study. We'd spend the weekends riding our bikes along the canals and strolling through art galleries and farmers' markets. I might finally learn to knit and sew. And the turtle's lessons would focus on history, agriculture, mathematics and economics.

Summer - Paris - Play

Our summer would be reserved for my favorite city in the world - Paris. It is here we would slow down, and move through the days without an agenda. We'd go to concerts, festivals and lectures. We would eat too much and play too hard while my turtle studied art, languages, religion and music.

Yes, that is my ideal life.

love. love. love. so much love.

2011-10-20T08:33:00.000-04:00

http://skinnedkneesinshortpants.blogspot.com/

what mama's learning at swim class (and it's not how to swim!)

2011-10-15T20:27:00.005-04:00

The turtle has been taking swim lessons since mid September.

The first few weeks were rough; he hated the water, the splashing, the noise, the "big kids" doing laps. But he's gotten better, and the last three weeks have been tear-free. Nonetheless, there are still things he downright refuses to do. He'll kick, he'll glide, but he won't dunk and he won't blow bubbles. And as we headed to the rec center this morning, dreading the "test" that would determine whether we would advance to mommy and me swim two or retake mommy and me one, I was prepared for the turtle to be the only kid that didn't advance. As the turtle would say, "yucky" that was an awful feeling.

But I had to get over it. I mean, who the hell really cares whether my 19 month old is promoted to the next class- it's swimming not science. But you know what, even if it were, so what? Swim class has taught me a lesson. I learned that despite my attempt at being "cool" I do in fact have a little bit of the "I want my kid to be the best kid in the bunch" disease, and I need to find an instant cure, because I dont want the turtle to catch it. I want the turtle to love trying new things without the fear of failure.

So, do you want to know how my little guy did on the test? Too bad. I'm not going to tell you.

how green are we?

2011-10-11T06:11:00.003-04:00

Anyone who reads TheActorsWife on a semi-regular basis knows that one of my family's aims is to simplify and "greenify" our life. So the question is, "how green are we?"

We've made the following strides:
We juice
We have a paper-free kitchen and
A mostly paper-free nursery
We wash in cold (except diapers)
We cloth diaper
We're car-free and
Dishwasher-free and
Microwave-free
We consume organic/free-range milk and dairy
We're a one-television home
We visit the public library and
Read the paper online
We filter our water and make our coffee at home
We re-use mason jars and sandwich bags and
Take our own bags to the store
We recycle

There's more we could do. We could be more cognizant about buying in season. We could join a CSA. We could unplug more often. I would love to compost and a have a clothes line.

Inspire me. What "green choices" do you make?

are you following?

2011-10-10T20:07:00.001-04:00

I started a new blog last week: Simply Defined. The posts cater to those who are looking to challenge educational and professional norms and will be of special interest to students, young professionals and artists re-examining their career trajectories. But anyone ready to embrace change and learn something about themselves in the process, might enjoy. Don't forget to check it out and let me know what you think.

turtles have to swim

2011-10-08T20:10:00.002-04:00

I love to swim. I love the sense of weightlessness and the way that the water muffles sound. The only thing I wish is that I was a better swimmer. So enrolling the turtle in swimming lessons was a no-brainer.

What surprised me was how much he hated the pool; really, truly hated it.

Keep in mind our pool (located at our neighborhood gym and recreation center) serves a good sized community, and on Saturday mornings practically every child in Queens shows up for a swim lesson. And my little guy, as friendly as he is, isn't crazy about crowds (he's his mama's son). So his teacher and I quickly surmised that this was the source of his anxiety. She encouraged me not to give up, but after two weeks of tears, I was pretty close.

Then my mum came into town and with a lovely combination of patience and creativity she showed me how to use bath time to help the turtle overcome his fears. So after a great deal of splashing at home, he was much better prepared for the water, noise and movement. And now, three weeks following mum's visit, I have a little boy who actually enjoys swimming.

learning french

2011-10-04T06:24:00.003-04:00

Though we make every effort not to be "those parents" (meaning those parents who over-schedule their toddlers) we have, in fact, enrolled the turtle in a few classes. As my readers know we do a mommy and me yoga class on the occasional Friday I spend at home and Chris started taking our little guy to Music for Aardvarks last year. But this fall we went the extra mile and enrolled the turtle in French at the French Institute Alliance Francaise. So, why French?

I attended a non-denominational private school as a little girl, where conversational French was taught in every grade. So at the age of three, I could speak French almost as well as I could speak English. Unfortunately, I didn't keep up my french lessons when I transferred into the parochial school system a few years later. And, despite the few classes I took in college, I can do little more than say, "I like cheese." Which, and this is a side note, is an excellent phrase to know should you spend any time at all in France.

Chris and I travelled to Paris for the first time in 2006. Chris worked on a French film shoot a year or so later and we have since returned to the city to work and play. It may be my favorite city in the world - with Amsterdam, New York, Missoula and Jackson, Wyoming competing for a close second. (What can I say I'm a city girl who loves her mountains.) And, since our dear friends - one of whom happens to be Chris' writing partner- currently live in Paris, we have no doubt that we'll visit the city frequently over the next few years. So by God, we should all learn the language.

Truth is, it's going to take Chris and I awhile - language acquisition doesn't come easily to a couple of thirty somethings, but I think there's a good chance the turtle will have more luck, especially if we do an early introduction.

weekend love

2011-10-03T06:25:00.001-04:00

turtle and me crocs

why simply defined

2011-10-01T21:19:00.001-04:00

Today I launched my new site, Simply Defined, and I am so excited. I've been mulling the idea around for years but the craziness of the last six months was just the right "kick in the pants" I needed to make this little dream a reality. I'm not sure where it's headed. I have ideas, but now I'm just thrilled to have a forum to start talking about my takes on education, goal-setting and lifestyle definition.

Simply Defined will allow my loyal readers to see TheActorsWife through a different lens. Think of the two sites as my office and living room. Simply Defined is where I get the work done, and TheActorsWife is where I kick off my shoes and relax. Regardless of which place you prefer, I hope you'll visit both on occasion.

Follow, subscribe and share. Most of all, enjoy!

check me out over at simply defined

2011-10-01T07:42:00.001-04:00

simply defined: "What do you want?" The question is simple enough but I have found, over the years, that an answer rarely is. We become so accustom to meeti...

yup, i might actually be beautiful

2011-09-29T06:57:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I walked out of a meeting, feeling great. I had been smart, articulate, and diplomatic. I thought, "You know what? I'm pretty darn good at my job." Guess what else? I felt beautiful. I know. Strange right? What did professional success have to do with my perception of a physical self. I'm not completely sure. But I know this, smart girls are pretty too. And yesterday, I thought, Yup, I might actually be beautiful.

Okay, to be fair, it's not that I thought this for the first time. I'm not an idiot. But I recognize that I'm a Mary Ann not a Ginger. I've always been cute in an endearing, wholesome, girl next door kind of way. In my acting days, I was the ingenue. The Emily Webb. The Juliet. And, I was fine with that. Hell, I relished that. But you know what? I've got something else goin' on too. Yup, I think I might actually be beautiful.

It's got to be motherhood. It's being seen through your child's eyes. Though he's too early to say it, I know that the turtle thinks his mama is the most gorgeous creature on earth. And I'm starting to buy it too. Yup, I might actually be beautiful.

a child's love for whole food

2011-09-28T07:12:00.008-04:00

My quest for greener and simpler living is a long a tiresome one. And I fear I have as many failures as successes. But the one success of which I feel quite confident is a move toward valuing whole, unprocessed food. Now keep in mind this is coming from the girl who loves a good gummy bear, but my gummy consumption is the exception not the rule (I have my sugar-induced migraines to thank for that.)

Introducing children to whole food at an early age is critical. Yesterday morning, I watched three kids eat their breakfasts on the subway. One little girl - maybe eight or nine - was eating mini powdered donuts and drinking a bottle of chocolate milk. Two other children, a little boy maybe around three and a little girl no more than year were sharing a Grandma's Chocolate Cookie. Now, I know kids have to have their treats. My son can't walk by the corner bakery without walking in, pointing to a sprinkle cookie and say, "dat. dat. dat." (translation: that one.) And fortunately our baker/laundress (keep in mind our bakery and laundromat are attached) is Balinese and out of a general appreciation for Chris and the turtle's heritage and an overarching adoration for our little family, often hands us one of these sprinkle cookies with our bag of quarters. But for breakfast? Come on!

Chris and I read Rapley and Murkett's Baby-Led Weaning over a year ago, and I highly recommend it for any new parent. Not only is it a radical approach to introducing solid foods, but it's premise is: it's essential to introduce kids to good whole foods early on. Another great book is Real Food for Mother and Baby by Nina Planck, who aside from being an amazing woman unto herself, is also married to Rob Kaufelt of Murrays' Cheese. I actually wish I had read Real Food before conceiving.

In the end, I think our whole food introduction is paying off. The turtle likes carrots, apples, bananas, beans, oats, cheese, milk, yogurt, chicken, good bread and peanut butter (of the true peanut and salt variety). And our approach which is "eat what we eat" is more often than not a successful one.

my new ambassador

2011-09-26T07:18:00.014-04:00

Weekend walks are the highlight of my week. Regardless of how crazy things are, we manage to find some time, usually as a family, to get outside and stroll through the neighborhood. We often have a specific goal in mind: drop off the mail; visit the market; return library books. But sometimes, we head out without a destination.

The last couple of weeks its become clear that regardless of the walk's purpose, we need to include lots of time to feed into turtle temptations. The turtle is now at the age, where we take him out of the stroller or the carrier and let him explore the neighborhood on his own two feet; which requires a careful eye and a good amount of patience because everything is interesting to an eighteen month old.

Yesterday it took us twenty minutes to walk a block because we had to stop to climb steps, touch water drains, circle garbage cans, dig up dirt, and stare through the glass doors of the Korean-American Christian Church on the corner (fortunately, service was not in session.) The turtle has a special interest in bakeries and bodegas. He things that every fruit stand is an invitation to touch and every open door is an invitation to enter. It's wonderful to experience a toddler's world; a world where the red of a tomato is awesome and the feel of concrete on your fingertips is a thrill.

It's a great reminder of what an incredible place we live. Yes, in spite of trashy celebrity and political apathy the world is full of beautiful, awe-inspiring wonder that only a child can find and share and I feel lucky to have the turtle as my new ambassador.